Monday, July 16, 2012

Sum Sum Summertime.

Interesting.  I just sat on my porch to start typing this when my neighbor came out carrying his baby and retrieved a large number of hardware/tools/and automotive looking things from the back of his pickup truck.  Normal?  Yes.  He is on his third trip back and forth from the house now.  Still normal?  Yes.  Still carrying the baby.  The kicker is, Baby is buck naked.  This begs some questions.  Does the man really not understand the risks he takes when carrying around an undiapered infant?  Also, is the hardware seriously of greater priority than clothing his child?  Thirdly, Does he somehow need a tool box and jumper cables in order to complete at the very least the diapering process? If so, that is a diaper I'm glad I did not confront.

Ah the joys of summertime!  This morning after hiking for a few hours I came back to my house and ate fresh cherries for breakfast.  Yes, I'm bragging. 

And then I took a nap.

Of all the things on my list of things to accomplish today, I have not accomplished a single one.  Which is why I decided to blog.  Because at least I would feel I have indulged my mind with more than enjoying rainstorms and iCarly reruns.  Hey, its what was on.

Don't judge.  I'm not the one carrying around a naked baby and an oil wrench. 

Contrary to what you have just read, I'm in between insanities right now. Last week was family reunion time and this week we launch into summer concerts. 

Also, I have been working waaaaay more that I expected to this summer.  Which is both good and bad. 

And then there is the adventure of cleaning out storage spaces and preparing for a potential move. 
That should take up a few posts as well. 

See how today should have been filled with accomplishing things but instead it was filled with avoiding things for the sole purpose of accomplishing nothing? 

Maybe that's what neighbor guy was doing.  Accomplishing what he felt like instead of the necessary tasks at hand.  I have to admit, if feels good in a rebellious sort of way. 

With that in mind, here's what I have accomplished this summer instead of the "should's":

Should: work as often as asked and save every penny
Actuality: Took a day off and went to Singin' in the Rain with a group of friends.  It was re-released to theatres for one day only.  And there was a 2pm showing, so we went, had dinner after, and then went to choir.  The funny thing was, our group was 9 people, but from what I saw and heard, most of the choir was in attendance at some theatre or another.  Because we are awesome with impeccable taste.  Also, Gene Kelly on the big screen.  Who would want to miss that?

Should: Clean out storage space and all other areas of the house that tend to accumulate stuff in an effort to reduce my hoarding and be a "responsible grown up." (does such a thing exist, or is that more mythical than yetis and Nessy? Conspiracy theorists unite! Show me a responsible grown up and I will show you who faked the moon landing!)
Actuality: Read through every paper in those storage boxes that travel from home to home for years, discovered my kindergarten and preschool records including teachers commentary and artwork.  Psycho-analyzed myself and my early experiences, discovered some interesting stuff, and have yet to finish the house-purge.  It turns out I didn't talk much as a kid.  My knowledge and conversation skills were limited to things I learned from songs and things I was allowed to write down first.  This reveals a fascinating language processing disorder.  It also explains why I still feel incapable of "small talk" to this very day.  I see no point to it, other than as a social nicety. People probably take my silence for bitchiness, when what I'm really thinking is "couldn't we spend our breath on something that matters?" Also, I drew ears.  From a very young age I drew ears and no mouths.  Which indicates the priority I placed on the senses.  Most children do not draw ears at all. 
See how useful it is to clean out the storage space?

Should: Mow lawn, Clean kitchen, Keep up on housework
Actuality: reruns, naps, and very little else.  Because, you see, the butter-on-the-dryer roommate is gone, and part of me is reveling in the fact that every mess in that house is my own.  Nothing is growing its own new recipe in the kitchen sink, the bathtub is scrubbed regularly, and I vacuum once a week.  Also, the stove top is shiny.  Beyond that, if the mail piles up or the shoes at the front door become ridiculous, I just deal. 

Should: Go on a real vacation
Actuality: Family reunion and lots of hiking.  I do not consider family reunions to be vacations.  Let me explain why:  I am a bedtime-at-nine kind of a girl.  I go to family reunions knowing that I will be socially obligated to stay up later.  That's fine.  It's not a complaint, its an acknowledgement of the duties that are part of being in a family.  It s just that I am going to be up by 6 regardless of bedtime,  Which means that I come away from family reunions more exhausted than if I had been working a normal work week.  By the end I usually come to a state of physical and emotional exhastion that is marked by laughing too loudly, saying nonsensical sentences in response to otherwise normal conversations, and bursting into tears over things like fruit.  (Its just so pretty.  And Yummy.  I love it so much.  Sniffle.)  Thus I return from a family reunion in need of recovery time and a real vacation.  Unfortunately, when I got back from this reunion I immediately worked a full week including all-day-saturday babysitting jobs.  The hiking has been my way of appeasing myself.  I go 2 or three times a week with my friend, and it is early morning therapy and a reminder that if I could go on vacation, it would probably be to right here, and I would probably spend the days hiking.  So instead of a week of 10 hour walks in the mountains, I am doing frequent 2 hour walks through the mountains.  All of this would be null and void if I could just go to Paris.  I have been missing Paris particularly over the last few weeks, but alas, my fare tracker says flights are currently $1500, so no Paris for me.  Maybe next year.

There may yet be a real vacation weekend in store for me this summer.  We'll see.

Should: Memorize music, read more books, keep my academic brain in shape, and figure out a research proposal for my master's thesis.
Actuality: Finished the books I originally posted about, haven't picked up another since (maybe next week) realized the toughest music we have to memorize in choir is in French (Any self-respecting female vocalist is already at least familiar with the Habanera from Carmen, right?) and have avoided all things related to my masters program.  One of the girls in my class kept texting me about next years texts books during the family reunion, but I think I ignored her into silence.  I have started to doubt my choice and my ability to finish, but will work through that when its time to start again, since I sort of burned other bridges, quit my job, and invested in one year.  I'm not about to walk away now.  As for the Master's thesis: Maybe I can use something from that storage box full of teachers commentary about my aversion to touch and hypersentivity to sensory experiences.  Undiagnosed Asperger's?  Maybe.  I know the autism awareness train is hugely popular right now.  I just wonder how much of the increased diagnosis is simply because of the awareness, and there are in fact hundreds of individuals that went undiagnosed 20, 30, and 40 years ago that just cope now.  I wonder how we figured out how to cope, how many ended up with some other diagnosis or disorder, and how suddenly labeling what was formerly just labeled as "weird" with a DSM diagnosis will impact the future of society. 

See, the academic stuff is still there.  It's just simmering. 

Should: Lighten up
Actuality: I have, in my own way. 

And maybe the dude with the naked baby was onto something.  Its summertime.  Diapering will get done eventually, and if there is a mess, we'll clean it up.  But for now, Live a little. Run free, and let others do the same.  After all, the only reason I put on pants was because I went on a hike and am now sitting on my porch.  Maybe I'll go back in and take them off again.