Big things are coming... (no matter what)

... But I think I have finally learned to keep my mouth shut until they are in motion. Otherwise, when things fall apart I have to answer all of the questions about my failures, which only makes me more sad. So you will just have to wait for any details at all until the plan is in full swing. But what you can know is that I am excited, happy, and actually looking forward to a few things in life. And if the plans fail, if they somehow bottom out, or if I screw them up (which I am apt to do) or if they just somehow don't pan out, I will be more than devastated and I will remove all evidence of even having tried (specifically this blog post). This is sort of a last ditch effort, and I am going to go down big if I go down. By which I mean: if this doesn't work, expect me to consume enough gallons of chocolate ice cream each evening to not only gain back the poundage I have lost in the past few months, but more than triple it. When I say I will go down big, I mean big as in a 350 pound diabetic coma that has to be removed from her house on an auto-wrecker. At the same time, if I take no risk at all, I will be working in a daycare for the rest of my life, which is just as disappointing albeit less exciting to me than an auto-wrecker assisted demise. So here's to risk, here's to ice cream, here's to figuring out who I am, here's to knowing that who I am is better than who I've been, here's to hope, here's to progress, and most of all, here's to optimism. I am choosing to believe in a better me.*

*will you all please choose to believe in a better me too? It would really help me believing in a better me. Like Charlie Brown. "If just one person believes in you... then maybe even you can believe in you too."