More or less complicated...

Yes, my car is dead. The repairs would cost more than she's worth, and so I am moving forward without her. You would think that something like this would ruin all of my plans for returning to school and force back to work full time in order to get a new car and be responsible and all that stuff. But the thing is, it might be easier to do school with a bus pass, and a bus pass is free if I am attending school. And while I couldn't stay at the same job, working part time, since i could never get between the two places fast enough, I wanted a new job anyways. Why not work closer to the school? And while I am having to switch jobs and switch tracks in life, I am even more worried about money, but without a car, I no longer have to pay insurance and maintenance, which isn't a ton more money, but maybe its enough so that I can afford milk and ceral and mashed potatoes. And while it will take that much more time and effort to be taking a bus and carpooling with a friend, it will also mean that much more excercise and weight lost (5 lbs, just this week). And while I don't quite know how I will do things like laundry and grocery shopping, I do know that there are people willing to pitch in and help me out. (The Corvair that I have been driving this week, for example, is at my disposal for a little while). And while we are on the subject of the Corvair, let me briefly take a tangent and ask what is it with boys and cars? I mean, if I'm cute enough to pick up on in the car, why was I never cute enough before the car? Or is it just the car? In which case, I don't want the attention.

The bottom line is, I am not getting a new car, and I am going to find a way to move forward anyways. This next month of transition will be the hardest part. Then I will find a routine, a groove as it were, and nobody can throw me out of my groove. But my biggest concern about this decision, the biggest fear I have and the biggest reason I keep going back to the possibility of getting a car is this: I have so many friends to the north and to the south that I used to visit using my car. How am I ever going to continue playing with everyone that I love and want to play with? Will you still love me when I can't come to parties or drive ins or nertz night? Will you promise to come visit me when you are in my town? I need reassurance!

(...and I promise cookie dough or at least yummy food to anyone who does feel inclined to come visit. My door is always open. Or at least my window is.)