Ward Shopping

For those of you who haven't heard, I have found a place to live! I will move in one week from today. It's a little later than I expected, but the living situation is perfect, in a little duplex with just one other roomie. See, no more arguments over the atractiveness of Olypic Athletes. Yay!

But with the new address comes the settling in. And with settling in comes the ward shopping experience. Some of you may not have experienced this. Most of the time, within the church, you move to a place and you attend the assigned ward. But singles get options. That's right, as a wearer of the "Scarlet S" the church wants to amke me feel as comfortable as possible, and they give me choices. I find this ironic since it is the fact that I have options that often make me feel like the outcast. If we all, singles and couples alike, had to attend the geographically assigned unit, there would be much less judging and questioning.

You see, I have a choice between three wards. There is the single student ward, there is the over-30 single ward, and there is the family ward. There are pros and cons to each choice.

In the single student ward, I will be treated to the meat market. A veritable buffet of potential future-mates, and a bishop trained to encourage pairing off the way other bishops are trained to dole out welfare. Every week there will be activities replete with "getting to know you" and general fluffy silliness, designed to display the admirable qualities of every potential mate. Your callings could range from "greeter" and "family home evening mom" to "dating coordinator" and the ever desirable "RS pres". Every calling has a counterpart member of the opposite sex, the bishop's own little match-making system. The focus is simply to shop and eventually purchase your very own spiritually inspired eternal family starter kit, containing one preisthood holder, complete with RM status, life goals, and temple reccommend. The difficulty is that you personally become a display as well, with the expectation to perform like a monkey, trained in home-making and child-rearing. Your testimony is merely a commercial advertisement, "try me, I will be a great wife!" and your sunday school comments must be postured in order to wow the potential buyers, discourage the weirdos, and put any competition in their place. No real friendships are made or maintained from such a situation, as all are in competition with one another.

No thank you.

I haev never attended the over-30 ward, and I am sure that it is only intensified by feelings of inadequacy over being a "menace to society".

And then there is the family ward option. It is where I usually end up. The family ward has much to offer, simply because it is much less superficial, has better areas to serve, and does not occupy as much time with ridiculous activities. Your calling in this ward could be Primary teacher, Young women's secretary, or even activities committee. No worries about the major leadership responsibilities here, since we don't feel that singles can/should handle them. In my last family wad experience, I was quite happy, called as the seminary teacher and unofficially expected to direct the music at every meeting, I was comfortable. Serving in real callings, making real friends, and giving honestly of my time and energy to efforts that I believed in. The difficulty is the social front. Everyone in a family ward that is the same aeg as me is married with children. We get to be friends at church, but since I work, and the moms stay at home, I don't get to attend any social events that would be with my potential friends. No such luck with evenings or weekends either, since that is family time/date night/youth activities, etc. I get to have real friends at chuch, but I get to spend my friday/saturday/sunday nights watching reality tv with my parents. I hate reality tv. If I ever do make friends enough with someone to merit an invitation or activity ouside of sunday meetings, it is usually akward. Everyone else brings their kids and their spouse, has to be home for bedtime or to let the sitter go. No, I am more likely to be invited as the sitter, and I am often more comfortable with the kids anyways.

So the debate rages on in my heart. Do I attend a real ward, with families and friends and people I can relate to? Do I attend the singles ward, with activities I can attend and the potential for eventually fitting in somewhere? Either way I choose, everyone whose business it is not will question my decsion. SO I don't care about opinions. For now, though, I will continue with my favorite sunday schedule ever.

845-leave for temple square
930 attend music and the spoken word, stay for the rehearsal afterward.
1115 grab a bowlof cereal, read my scriptures
1230 drive around looking for a sacrament meeting
100 take the sacrament, listen to the talks
215 leave building, drive to provo
330 arrive at my grandfather's house, begin preparing dinner.
430 eat dinner with grandpa
Play 2 games of scrabble, accompany grandpa on the piano while he plays hymns on the flute
900 drive back to slc and go to "bed" (bean-bag chair)