Waltzing Mathilda

(That's my car. Her name is Mathilda because she is crazy smart- think Roald Dahl- and because of my driving)

Those of you who have met my car may know a few shameful facts about me. First is that my driving skills are... questionable. I do a pretty decent job, but I get anxious if someone is hanging out in my blind spot (seriously, why do people do that?) and I panic if I have to drive too close to any barriers (slabs of cement capable of scraping me and my car to bits) and I tend to have a bit of a lead foot. Also, I get emotionally involved with other cars on the road. I wonder who they are and how they are doing and where they are going and when they are being stupid I get upset with them and sometimes set them up for failure (like purposefully making them slow down to a frustrating pace, tapping my brakes at people that tailgate, and then letting them zoom past me as soon as I spot a cop, so they get a ticket while I glide past). And also, because Minnesota and Utah driving skills are possibly the two most incompatible collection of lousy driving habits, I have multiple driving personality disorder. Sometimes I change lanes like a Utahan, abruptly and authoritatively taking command of where I want to be with little regard for any other cars on the road, and sometimes my lane changes take on a rural Minnesotan flavor, lazily wandering across the lane for a few minutes, as if indecisive of where I am going to or coming from, finally ending up casually landing in one lane again with little regard for the needs of anyone else on the road. This is a particularly dangerous habit if I forget I am on I-15.

Along with the driving skills gained from taking drivers ed and the test with a drunken instructor in rural Northern Minnesota, I have a few other car habits that I am working on improving. One of them is born purely of the hectic life I tend to lead. I take on more projects than a schedule can reasonable allow, and my car collects the evidence. It reflects my lifestyle and state of mind at the same time. For example, it may be filled with costumes and books while I am running from work to rehearsal. It may be filled with shoes if I am feeling frumpy and in need of frequent comfort-shoe days. It may be filled with paperwork and unopened mail if I am trying to sort out some new project. For a while in Minnesota it had a box of children's books in need of repair and countless Seminary visual aids and lesson plans. For another while it was filled with clothing changes and music books. I was frantically auditioning for every show I could find. For a few weeks here, it simply had lamps and candles and dishes. I was helping Maurine move and she tended to hand off all the stuff that her new place couldn't take.

You see, I only get opportunity plus energy to deal with my car every so often. I work all day every day and by the time the weekend rolls around, I have grocery shopping and house cleaning and laundry and only a small window for time with friends. Keeping my backseat clean takes a backseat to important things. Until I actually get a day off.

Like today. I get Friday off and pretend it is a Saturday, so that on Saturday I can actually play, guilt free, all day long! Who is so excited for that?! I got up extra early and did my laundry and my grocery shopping and various and sundry errands and cleaned the bathroom and tidied the living room and scrubbed the kitchen and then came Mathilda.

It didn't take very long, and I am not going to list all the things I took out of the car. That would reflect my state of mind for the past 6 months. Instead I am going to list for you the things that are still in my car, because it should reflect my current state of mind.

• the Scrabble Game from Grandpa's house is still in my backseat. I don't play it at home, and its too important to have it on hand in case anyone does want to play.
• 3 spoons, ready for the next ice cream craving
• 4 window scrapers, in the trunk, all various size and usefulness. Some work better for snow, some work better for ice.
• Bag with Organ books and shoes. (I don't have an organ at home, why would I take them in?)
• box of candy canes. (what the heck am I supposed to do with candy canes in July?)
• Box of cassette tapes. (mostly recorded from the radio in the early 90's)
• 3 hairbrushes. (I also have 3 in my bathroom. It's important to have them on hand)
• Lotion (witch hazel based, from france)
• 8 walnuts and a pingpong ball. Also from Grandpa. Can't really explain why I would rather they just stay put.
• 4 unopened cds of christmas music (mindless orchestrations from generic ensembles and composers) also because I'm not sure what else to do with them
• a "Greatest hits of Madonna" cd, on which I don't recognize a single song.
• The David Hasselhoff album. Jealous?
• Grandma's cookie jar, that she kept the scrabble tiles in
• a red heart from a student that says "you are my sweetheart" in 4-year old scrawl
• A cat in the hat doll and a purple bird girl necklace.
• a refrigerator magnet with "Spike" on it.
• Wrapping paper and scotch tape. (these things come in more useful than you could possibly imagine)
• Two empty water bottles and a half a gallon of radiator fluid (I need to save up for this next repair)
• Dental Floss (Also more useful than you might imagine)
• 4 decks of playing cards and two poker chips
• tweezers and nailclippers
• Box of Kleenex
• Straw Hat for hiking and sunny days
• A map of Kirtland Ohio, Palmyra New York, Niagara Falls, and a generic Atlas of the US
• Eyeshadow, Mascara, and a shade of lipstick called "Demure"
• Two pairs of shoes (one black, one brown, just in case)
• Zupas frequent buyer card
• Cafe Rio frequent buyer card
• Vase
• Puzzle of a picture of the world (24 piece, need to bring it to school)
• Music Notebook
• Dressmaker forms
• Christmas tin
• Two sets of old lisence plates, one set Minnesota, one set Utah

I'm not really sure what all this means, why this is the particular set of odds and ends I feel the need to tote around with me. Draw your own conclusions, and let me know if you come up with a better explanation than this: I'm not sure what life is about to hand me, but whatever it is, I will be ready for it.

Shouldn't there be some sort of a reality TV show where people have to perform ridiculous tasks using only the items in their car? Mathilda and I could so win that...