Conference Weekend Post

I have some thoughts. I also have some pictures. They don't go together, but I'm going to dump stuff here, and we'll see how it turns out.



I have been really well behaved about keeping my laundry done. And I hate doing laundry. But here's what happens when there is no laundry laying around my room. Books. I think there were 18 books all around/on my bed, just that I used in less than a week's time.

I think its awesome to love books.



Mmmmmm, homemade candy bars! I'm on a pretzel kick lately, and I made these and substituted pretzels for the pecans we usually use. SO. Graham cracker caramel coconut chocolate pretzel bars. I made them for movie night with my friends Kim and Stan. And I was telling a friend about them at choir and ended up giving the recipe out to a whole bunch of the people sitting around me. It has been reported that more than a few made them for this weekend.



Ok, I recognize this is a picture of my garbage can. Gross. But I just needed a little more empathy. Please notice that there is a FULL 44oz cup of soda in the garbage can. Here are my questions: Why pay for the drink if you aren't going to touch it? How hard is it to pour the drink into the sink before throwing the cup away? What do you think is going to happen when someone has to take out the garbage?

Its not rocket science.



We had a saturday morning rehearsal last week for the Easter concert this week (we couldn't this past saturday because we were already a little booked.) Anyways, it happened to be the weekend that the new city creek shopping center opened accross from Temple Square, so OF COURSE we had to go explore and have lunch. The thing that is missing in this picture is Anne Marie St Felix, who took the picture. She is the one that got us all laughing pretty hard and then managed to snap the perfect shot. I rub elbows with some remarkable women. I wish I could tell you all how remarkable the people in the choir are. I still believe firmly that someone should write a book on the everyday lives of the people in the choir. I have yet to hear a story that doesn't leave me in awe.



I call this "The Nest". Its what happens in my living room when I have a major paper due. This paper was on eating disorders. In this picture you should be able to see 12 empirical articles, 3 blankets, mint meltaways and wrappers, an empty 44oz cup (formerly filled with Diet Dr. Pepper) 4 texts books, a computer, bread and peanut butter, water bottle, cup of milk, dinner (microwaved brussel sprouts) a backpack, 2 purses, a journal, and the cheesecake edition of Taste of Home magazine. Now picture me sitting on the pillow in pajamas and you have the paper-writing experience.



I currently babysit for a living. While I feel some hesitancy to declare that because of the cultural view of a 35 yr old woman who still does the job of a 14 year old, I think you should know that I adore the children I watch and its so fun. So fun. Can you tell?



One of the wonderful remarkable women I love from the choir is going to retire soon. Heartbreak. But My friend Kim and I decidded she needed to know just how much we love her.



So kim found a small token of our love at costco and we left it in her cubby.
Here's a note on carrying a very large bear through the tabernacle on conference weekend which just happens to be April Fools day.... You can tell a lot about a person from their reaction. There were people who smiled, people who laughed and wanted in on the fun, people who looked annoyed, and people who clearly thought we were insane. Your reaction tells me a lot about you. Most mysterious of all is the one person who didn't even flinch. Saw, looked us in the eyes, and just kept walking. Of all the people and all the reactions, this is the one person who I am convinced is actually dead inside. If you don't respond to a 53 inch teddy bear, you don't have a soul.



Finally, a note about conference.

I have heard wonderful responses and I have heard not so wonderful responses. I have heard those who loved and learned from the music and I have heard those who didn't. I have struggled with balancing those responses. Who is right? Was it great? Was it mediocre? Are those who loved it just dumb? Are those who hated it just jealous?

Here is my conclusion:

I'm done listening to criticisms of the choir. I don't care if you think the tempos were wrong. I don't care if you are tired of hearing what you think are the same songs. I don't care if you think such and such should be memorized. You do the math on how much music we are doing in one weekend. You pay attention to just how many pieces are new, how many pieces you think you have heard before, and then find out if you actually have. You be the first people there in the morning and the last to leave after its over. You spend the hours in between rehearsing for the next to come. Now consider when on this earth there is a choir that sings to an audience of 14 million people. I doubt you could ever find a choir with a larger audience, and the demands placed reflect that pressure.

Go ahead and sit at home in your PJs and criticize to the people you are sharing oreos with. But don't you dare disrespect the sacrifices and efforts made by me and the remarkable individuals I am priveledged to sit with by telling me that you would have done it differently or better. No one does it better than Mack Wilberg and Ryan Murphy. No one.

We get criticized at choir plenty, all in the spirit of improving and perfecting the music. The real reason for criticism is for the purpose of correction, and we are constantly correcting and trying to be better. I love direction that leads to improvement. If your response to me will not make anything about the choir better, keep it to yourself.

And I might add that if you are listening for something to go wrong, then you are missing the message. You don't sound smart when you tell me you would do it differently or better. You sound judgmental and pretentious. Your response to me about the choir does not tell me how the choir sounded. It tells me how well you listened.

Next time we discuss the choir experience, please know that I want to hear about it. I just want to hear about what you loved. I want to hear about it so that we can connect on a heartfelt level. I want to hear that my offering was accepted by my friends.

I'm sad that we live it a world where people think they can look good by declaring how they would do things better. It diminished that which is offered. This principle goes beyond my choir experience. There is no value in criticisms that only serve to make you feel better about yourself. They belittle those around you. Even if what is offered is small and insignificant. Would you belittle the widow's mite because you have more to give?

If your job is to edit or correct or educate then by all means, give the kinds of correction that will make your students better. But good teachers know that there is also a time for encouragement. And beyond that, there is a time to take the correction hat off. There is a time for accepting gifts, for sharing and connecting.

So on a final note. Please know that I loved it. If you have been positive and kind, I am so grateful. I loved singing. I'm glad you loved listening. If you have felt and learned and loved, that speaks so well of you. I'm glad you are my friend. I bet you are the kind of person that would smile at a giant teddy bear too.