Monday, April 20, 2009

Odds N' Ends

I have now received 6 compliments on the shoes from random strangers. One of them even introduced herself to me with an offer of friendship because she felt that I truly had class. And that's not including the number of people I actually know that have approved of them. Vain and frivolous, but money well spent.

Tonight at the grocery store some guy actually tried to pick me up. A grocery store pick up? really? Ok, so I'm not impressed with his skills, but I am a little proud of myself at least. It's a compliment. I'll take it.

Yes, I saw the Hannah Montana movie. And right now I am watching High School Musical 3. Go ahead, judge me. I also watched Marley & Me and bawled through the last 30 minutes of it. Proudly.

School and kids have been interesting lately. We've had conferences and changes in the class that affect our day to day ability to function. I am constantly astounded by the lies that some parents tell themselves and choose to believe about their children. I don't understand how they can believe that loving their child and being lazy about the way they raise said child fit into the same plan. At the same time, I can't tell them the truth because the business of education is still a business. I can however translate a few phrases for any inquiring parents.

If a teacher tells you your child is particularly energetic, you should probably have them checked for ADD. If they add the suggestion to work on "impulse control" you are looking at some severe ADHD (and possibly some deeper issues. Impulse control is the last thing you want to hear from a teacher). If you hear anything at all about "social exploration" then the teacher is frustrated with cliques and particularly your child's ability to manipulate other children. If a teacher is emphasizing that your child shows amazing development in one particular area but no interest in anything else whatsoever, you may want to look at some Autism Spectrum issues. And if a teacher tells you they are working on teaching your child how to empathize with other kids, watch out! Your child is the class bully. A teacher is in a difficult place. They see your child in more varied situations than most parents do, and they have more experience seeing alot of these issues than many that are qualified to diagnose. Yet they can not diagnose or even hint at any of the things that they see.

Wanna know what else I see every day?

There are 3 new boys in my class. They all turned 4 within a week of each other and have been in the same class since they were infants. They are best friends the way 4th grade girls are best friends. Their personalities are volatile. One of them will henceforth be referred to as "FSK" which stands for "Future Serial Killer". He is over-indulged and incredibly manipulative and I have watched him terrorize his fellow classmates with an extremely devious grin on his face. Today after stopped him from a number of other evil endeavors I saw him hide himself away in the corner of a playground where he slowly and methodically pulled apart a few earthworms into little tiny bits. When he had it in so many pieces that there was nothing left to hold onto, he wiped his hands on his jeans and ran off to steal chalk from the toddlers.

The next new boy shall be referred to as "FCM", or "Future Criminal Mastermind". He is actually more manipulative than FSK. He's quiet and smart and somehow I get the impression that he is behind every fiasco that his friends get into. He is always just the right distance away from whatever disaster ensues. I see the other kids look at him for referencing and a clue as to the next move. He has never spoken a word to a teacher in all of his four years (I checked with all of his past teachers), and I have only actually heard him speak at all when he thinks no grown up is listening. Only through this covert evesdropping have I managed to witness FCM actually instructing the two other boys how to not get caught committing some atrocity against the girls (ripping heads off of dolls or drawing on their pictures).

The third boy is possibly the most dangerous to himself and others. I call him "SMT" or "Small Minded Thug". He is the follower, the henchman, the thug that carries out his orders with no remorse and no thought of his own. Whenever he gets caught carrying out some crime he blames either the FSK, the FCM, or worst of all, the victim. He honestly believes that he is the last person who is responsible for his own actions and his parents support him in that belief.

These three boys have changed the play dynamic of the classroom of 19 other children. It's fascinating, and I am all about believing in the innocence of children. I just think that a distinction should be made. Children are not considered innocent because they don't commit offenses against people, not even because they are necesarily unaware of the offenses they commit. They are innocent becaue their parents are supposed to be teaching them the difference between right and wrong. It is quite literally a grace period. Of course, when parents are merely indulging the behavior, then you have a serious problem. This is why I hate conferences.

You'll have to forgive that brief soapbox. I am just going crazy trying to figure out how to teach these kids that they don't get to be the only people on the planet who always get exactly what they want, meanwhile their parents are actually teaching them that they always get exactly what they want. Spoiled Rotten doesn't even begin to describe it.

The first Opera I am in with the Utah Opera is MacBeth. Having spent a bit of time in the theatre, I am aware of the curse associated with the title of said opera. You are never supposed to say it in a theatre (or rehearsal hall, or while even rehearsing a show or really ever) as it will cause calamity to befall whatever production you are in. So what are you supposed to do when the production that you are performing is titled the name which cannot be named for fear of causing calamity? I actually haven't said that name (see above) or typed it (other than above) in years. Hubble Bubble Toil and Trouble, what the heck am I supposed to do about that? Can you perform an entire show without ever saying the name of it? Not to mention the curses supposedly associated with actually performing the show...

3 comments:

susan m hinckley said...

I am now, of course, re-analyzing every parent-teacher conference I ever attended. Thanks for that.

Congratulations on the Utah Opera! I will enjoy following the progress of the production, so be sure to share plenty of snarky complaints with us as you go along (even if it's not in your nature to do so) and send me a piece of that chocolate cake, stat!

The Wengerts said...

October 17 through 25, right? That's the dates I've found on the Utah Opera website for the opera "who-must-not-be-named" :) I'm afraid I won't be able to see you :( I would love to though. I've seen plenty of theater pieces, but I've NEVER been to an opera - shame on me!

Jenny said...

John had a teacher that said that children are some of the worst sinners there are; they're just not responsible for them yet. They lie, they steal, they hurt people. Sounds like you two are on the same page (and I heartily agree with you).